I swear I've never farted so much in my life before that if you were to pass me 10 balloons I could like inflate them in like... 1 minute. I'm serious. So very. I ain't exaggerating but it just feels so bad to be pregnant with air. I recall that night I woke up and attempted to get out of my bed to the toilet... and that belly was so much of a hindrance (that I really wanted to cut it open and release all that toxic in just one go). And my fart... "WOOOOOOOOOO!!!" ... it's deadly. I've warned you.

Seriously, I've gotta get out of this den like RIGHT NOW! I've not been out since last Sunday ('cept trips to the doc's) and somehow I can totally relate myself to a toad in the well. Only I'm way better off than eet. However something disturbing occurred some moments ago. A fly hovered and landed beside my cup. No matter how I shooed and booed and blew it just wouldn't go off. Instead, it kept fluttering it's wings (which somehow appeared to be dancing) then laid still at the same spot. For a moment I wondered whether it was trying to catch my attention so that it could laugh at me cos' I'm stranded and it's free to fly. I thought I was hallucinating. Then this thought came. Spare it not. And just nice a ruler was right next to me. "DIE YOU BITCH!" was what I said. And we had a whipped fly. So I guess I should be doing the laughing now.

P.S: I'm not mad. Yet.